How to eat hay 101

Have you noticed how much horses love hay and grass? Trust me, we can spend all day long eating hay and grass. I will never forget the first time I got to eat some hay. My mom said, “Try it, you’ll like it.” And I did.

It was green with lots of soft leaves and it was delicious. I later learned that it was alfalfa hay. Alfalfa is the Dom Pérignon of hays. I ate it when I was a racehorse too. I never turn down a good flake of alfalfa.

Of course, not all hays are as good as alfalfa, but grass hay can be quite delicious too. Truth be told, a nice mix is the best: a little alfalfa, a little grass, or even some grass with clover in it. Makes my tummy growl just thinking about it.

I have gotten some not-so-wonderful hay in my life too. I am not a big fan of the stemmy stuff and if it smells off, I turn up my nose and shove it away. Bad hay can make you pretty sick.

Hay comes in small bales and huge round ones. The round bales are fun because you can spend all day picking out the best bits. I like to sleep in the leftovers, it makes a nice soft bed.

Nowadays I get flakes of grass hay. The short one calls it “pony hay.” There is nothing wrong with it, but it isn’t always the sweetest. I guess that is the point since everyone in this resort is on a diet but me.

I get as much hay as I want, and I am the king of sorting. What is sorting, you ask? Well, it is how I pick out the best parts to eat. There is an art to it. First, you give the flake a good sniff to gauge the sweetness. Then after a few nibbles you can tell how stemmy it is. I like to toss my hay around a bit, because it separates out the less tasty stemmy parts. I push them out of the way and poop on them, which is my way of saying “hint, hint.” I spend hours sifting through what is left with my dexterous lips and agile tongue.

In the end I get the best parts and leave the rest behind. (Mocha gets my leftovers, he isn’t picky.) And that is how I sort hay. It is just one of my many skills.