Down and Dirty

  1. It’s Taco Tuesday!
  2. Taco Tuesday special report:
  3. Back in the day, I was a racehorse.
  4. To graze, or not to graze: that is the question
  5. It’s a miracle, I tell you, a miracle!
  6. The fine art of accepting treats from your human
  7. They called me the Cat Burglar
  8. Overall, the food here is very good.
  9. Inquiring minds want to know
  10. Housekeeping
  11. The new guy moves in
  12. Happy Vaccination Day
  13. Malfunctioning fly sheet edition
  14. The great escape
  15. Dog Days of Summer
  16. Down and Dirty
  17. The Quiet One
  18. Forest Monsters
  19. When the Farrier Comes
  20. Mealtime manner
  21. Happy Hour
  22. A day in the life.
  23. The Walking Wounded
  24. Friends
  25. Ginger the racing pony
  26. Those Dangerous Cows and the Gate
  27. Drunken sailor and the pregnant lady
  28. How to eat hay 101
  29. Fly-free at last
  30. Body Work Edition
  31. Rainy days and dry stalls
  32. The dream galloping edition!
  33. Where did Mocha go?
  34. Water
  35. Flying squirrels and giant lizards
  36. Leo came to town
  37. It’s Taco Tuesday again!

As you all know, I am a horse. As a horse, I love to roll in the dirt. It is hard work, all that rolling, particularly for an old guy like me. It isn’t easy heaving my old body up off the ground, so you can imagine that keeping dirty is harder work than it was when I was young and spry. (You will see when you get old.)

But honestly, the dirtier I stay, the better. Do you know why? Because it keeps the flies off and you know how much I HATE flies. You look skeptical? Well it really does. At least I can’t feel them through the 2 inches of mud coating my back. Therein lies the conflict. My mom, she likes me really clean. The cleaner the better. Just the other day I heard her on the phone with the Short One, discussing the extent of my filthiness.

Next thing I know, here comes Mom with a hose and bucketful of sudsy water, ruining all my hard work. She scrubs and rinses and scrubs again… even my face!!! Is nothing sacred?!

I have tried in vain to explain to her that I want to be dirty. If she lets me go out right after a bath… the first thing I do is get right back to work getting dirty again. She tries to bribe me by taking me out for some primo hand grazing after a bath (ya know, because you can’t get as dirty when you are dry) which does work, while I am grazing… but the minute she cuts me loose, I stop, drop and roll.

So you horse owners out there, take it from me. If your horse is dirty, it is because they WANT to be dirty. No amount of scrubbing or brushing is going to change that.

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